The other 3% have perfect porcelain white skin, and they don't look like a pasty, blue veined ghost.
I think between my friend Tara and I, we've tried everything on the market.
While I do prefer an airbrush tan at a salon over any lotion, I alas cannot afford a bi weekly misting at the local spray tannery.
Well, I did the dirty work for you, and I'm here to tell you my orange, smelly, sticky horror stories, and golden bronzed successes.
St. Tropez Self Tan Bronzing Lotion
Pros.
* Dark, rich brown color, instantly.
* Lasts after several showers
* INSTANT gratification. Don't give me this "gradual glow" shit.
* Lotion color is brown, so you can see where you're applying.
Cons.
* Not a horrible smell, but a smell nontheless
* You NEED to wear a latex glove when applying. Shit is not easy getting off your hands like most tanning lotions.
* Does not look like an even tan when first applied. After 1st shower it looks great.
Xen - Tan Mist Intense
Pros.
* Natural/dark olive glow
* Instant color
Cons.
* Vanilla scent. Too sweet.
* Sticky feeling after application.
* Does not go on very even, but after 1st shower looks smoothed out.
* I wouldn't call it "mist". It comes out almost like a spray gel you would spray in your hair.
A little shocking when you first spray. And it's a brown color. So looks even scarier.
Jergen's Natural Glow Medium
Pros.
* In like 3 weeks it gives you a nice healthy glow.
Cons.
* In like 3 weeks it gives you a nice healthy glow.
Neutrogena Micro Mist Self Tanning Spray
Pros.
* Odorless
* Dries in less than 3 minutes
* Develops glowing color instantly , and after several hours gets darker to a healthy bronzy glow.
* Mist can sprays like hair spray, in a continuous light mist
Cons.
* I wish the color was a bit darker, but I have only tried Medium spray
* Difficult to find in stores. I've only managed to find in Duane Reade in NYC. I've been searching in LA and Chicago since. And dreading the day the TSA takes it out of my carry on.
Benefit's Talk To the Tan Self Tanning lotion
Pros.
* I wouldn't even call it lotion. It's just like makeup, and great for needing last minute color on your face before an event.
* Great to use instead of foundation. Makes putting on makeup afterwards a lot easier.
* Instant color
* Dewy glow
Cons.
* A bit on the orangy side
* Sticky feeling
* Washes off after one use.
Clarin's Self Tanning Milk
Pros.
* Great natural color
* Even application
* Light glow after 1st application, after a couple hours
* Not a bad smell
Cons.
* "Gradual" color.
* Small tube, and a bit on the expensive side. I've had mine for over a year because I'm afraid to use it and run out.
Some Weird French Face Lotion I Bought While In St. Tropez, Thinking I Would Of COURSE Discover The PERFECT Self Tanner In St. Tropez.
Pros.
* The smell reminds me of my trip to St. Tropez.
* Olive glow after about 3-4 days of applying twice a day.
Cons.
* I'm impatient.
* It's French.
Sevin Nyne Tanning Mist.
Pros.
*Tara said its great
* No smell
Cons.
* It's Lindsay Lohan self tanner lotion.
Dr. Dennis Gross Glow Pads
Pros.
* I heard these are great.
* Great long lasting tan
Cons.
* Expensive
* Only 20 pads in a box
* Gradual.
* I haven't used them yet.
Well there you have it.
Oh. You want to know what my favorite is?
This can only be answered in 3 separate categories, because there is a different favorite for each section of my body.
On my legs- St. Tropez lotion.
My legs are the hardest to get color on, and St. Tropez is by far the darkest, most instantaneous self tanner that I have tried.
And my legs are the farthest from my nose, so I don't smell it that much.
On my upper body, arms, chest, neck- Xen Tan mist.
This area always needs an instant glow, and Xen Tan is easy and quick to apply, and has a amazing rich color.
On my face and neck - Neutrogena Micro Mist.
It's odorless and dries super quick, and leaves a great, instant color, that gradually gets darker over the next several hours after application.
Now, lucky you, who doesn't have to spend hundreds of dollars on attempting to find the perfect tan!
you are so funny!
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